


with every heartbeat i have left (i'll defend your every breath)

by LiveLaughLovex



Series: our definition of perfect [13]
Category: Blue Bloods (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Future, F/M, Post-Season/Series 09
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-28
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-11-06 21:13:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17947232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiveLaughLovex/pseuds/LiveLaughLovex
Summary: Post Season/Series 09 Speculative. Eddie's son was seven weeks old when she finally bit the bullet and returned to work. She might have grossly underestimated how much she'd miss a kid incapable of supporting the weight of his own head.





	with every heartbeat i have left (i'll defend your every breath)

**Author's Note:**

> The title comes from "Light" by the band Sleeping at Last.

Flynn Joseph Reagan was seven weeks old when Eddie returned to work. She made it about five minutes at the precinct before she began missing him. In all honesty, she’d lasted much longer than she’d expected to.

“He’s with his father, not a Russian mobster,” her partner reminded her when she glanced down at her phone’s screen for the fifth time in twenty minutes. “Reagan’s trained in high-stress situations, Janko. I think he can handle your two-month-old for the twelve hours it’ll take you to wrap up this tour and head home.”

“I know that,” Eddie insisted, heaving a sigh as she shoved her phone back into her pants pocket. “Jamie is a great dad. Flynn’s perfectly safe with him. Logically, I know all of this. But I just – I can’t shake this feeling that something might go wrong.”

“Let me give you a little hint, one mother to another. That feeling’s never going to go away,” her partner informed her bluntly. “You carried him inside you for nine months, and now he’s out here, in this scary world, and he’s the same size as those teddy bears they give out as prizes at those Coney Island booths.”

“If you’re attempting to help, O’Shea, I just want you to know that you’re not. Like, at all,” Eddie told the other woman, barely able to keep herself from rolling her eyes.

“What I’m saying is that that feeling is always going to be with you. You’ll be scared every moment of every day that something’s going wrong and you’re not there to rescue him. It doesn’t matter how much faith you have, how many times a day you pray, how many Hail Mary’s you say. It’s just one of the things you’re stuck with the second you bring another human onto this terrifying planet.” O’Shea finished off her coffee, then placed the empty cup in the holder next to her thigh. She sighed when Eddie’s expression remained unchanged. “Twelve hours, Janko. Just twelve more hours, and then he’ll have you for the next forty-eight.”

“Yeah,” Eddie agreed quietly, drawing in a deep breath. “Just twelve more hours. I can do that.”

-o-o-o-o-

Well, she did it. Sort of. Okay, so she called Jamie seven times during her tour, but that wasn’t so bad, was it? It was less than once an hour, after all, which was good enough in her book. Anyway, she was off work at that point, and she wanted to see her baby, come hell or high water.

“Hey,” she greeted eagerly as she walked through the front door of their three-bedroom home in Brooklyn Heights just after eight. She walked into the kitchen when she heard Jamie’s muffled response. A smile came to her face at the sight of him there, at the counter, chopping vegetables with their son strapped to his chest. “I would ask how your day went, but it seems to me like you’re both doing pretty great.”

“Hey,” Jamie greeted, finishing up with the last of the vegetables and then circling the counter to press a kiss to her flushed cheek. “Yeah, I tried to put him down in the bassinette before you called to say you were on the way, but he wasn’t having it. I didn’t want to leave you in charge of dinner after being at work all day, so we just sort of adapted and overcame. Didn’t we, buddy?”

“Oh, God, he’s not even two months old and we’re already wrapped around his little fingers,” Eddie groaned laughingly, settling on one of the barstools at the counter. “He’s going to be insufferable by the time he’s Sean’s age, isn’t he?”

“Probably, yeah,” Jamie admitted with a smirk. “I’m guessing you’re wanting to hold him, yeah?”

“Twelve hours, Reagan,” Eddie reminded him seriously. “I haven’t held him in at least thirteen, at this point. So, yeah. Hand him over now, before I start sobbing. You know, I always thought the hormones went away after you had the kid. I didn’t think they’d get _worse_.”

“I don’t think that’s hormones, Ed, I think it’s being a mom,” Jamie informed her honestly, smiling gently. “Which you’re already great at, by the way. He was looking for you today.”

“Don’t tell me things like that,” Eddie ordered tearfully, taking her sleeping son carefully from his father’s arms. “Not unless you want me to start crying right here and now.”

“Don’t want that,” Jamie replied seriously, his attention completely diverted from dinner and now focused on his slightly distraught wife. “Babe, is everything okay? Did something happen at work today?”

“Something’s always going to happen at work, Jamie,” she sniffled, running a finger down her son’s cheek. “Every person we arrest is someone’s child.”

“Yes,” Jamie agreed slowly. “That’s usually how it works.”

“I know that,” Eddie replied defensively. “It’s just – we have Flynn now. And I just – every mother I see on the street, sobbing as we haul her boy away – I just end up placing myself in her shoes. And I can’t get out of my own head, which means I’m practically crying in front of perps now. O’Shea thinks it’s ridiculous. It probably is. I just – I can’t stop, you know?”

“I don’t,” Jamie assured her. “We have a son now, Eddie. It was bound to change things for us out there, not just in here. And you’re right. Those boys are always someone’s son. Doesn’t mean they’re in the right, not by a long shot, but I can see why you’d think of it that way.”

“I’m sympathizing with the mothers of criminals now,” Eddie deadpanned.

“To be fair, you always sympathized with the mothers of criminals,” Jamie pointed out. “You’re a much better person than the rest of us for it.”

Eddie nodded once, her eyes falling back to her son. “You’re sure he’s not going to end up screwed up because I went back to work, right?”

“Honey, he already adores you,” Jamie reminded her. “So, yeah, I’m sure that you being Wonder Woman out there isn’t going to poison his opinion of you.” He pressed a kiss to her hairline, then turned back to the counter to finish up with his salad preparation. “You want me to put him in his swing?” he asked over his shoulder.

“No,” Eddie murmured in response, shifting her son in her arms allowing her eyes to drift closed as he buried his head in her chest and burrowed closer. “He’s good right here.”

**Author's Note:**

> I've been trying to write things in the future or in alternate universes, as the show's not coming on so frequently. I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
